Shit.....

Lately, I've been having dreams about a very dear friend, my best friend to be exact, and how either I'm hanging out with him or how we made up from the stupidest thing ever. Is it wrong of me that I'm really good friends with his ex-girlfriend? I really want to think that , but I truly do not know why we just stopped talking to each other. Both of us have been living our lives like nothing has happen, but I'm pretty sure we both still think about how this all turned out the way it did. Its been about 3 months since we haven't spoken together. I at least tried to make the effort to call and text him, but to no avail. I'm cried about how our friendship turned out to be how it is now. Clear indications showed me something was wrong when he de-brother-ed  me on facebook. I just look at the photos we've taken together and it makes me sad especially since the holidays are around the corner. I just keep thinking I'm alone in the world. I know I have friends, but nothing like the bond me and him had. He was always there to pick me up, movitiate me, and just help. Our bond can't be gone, can it? I just wish that one day we would be on speaking terms again. Even everyone asks me, "What happened between you and him?" I can only answer, "I don't know. We haven't gotten a chance to talk to each other." Guess best friends aren't forever Tod.

.......

She's back in my head again...... All because of a dream and also it was her birthday yesterday, plus everyone is about to come home from school for the holidays. In the dream, I was devastated. She ignored me when I was trying to talk to her and I just felt really sad.  I don't know why I have these spurts of feelings for her still. I just need someone to talk to to get her out of my head. School will start for me soon in January, so hopefully I can meet someone new and just talk to them. I do miss talking to her though.....